


Ignorance Is The Best Medicine

by OwenToDawn



Series: The People Who Love Song Minho Club [3]
Category: Block B, Winner (Band)
Genre: Heart-to-Heart, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Polyamory, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22473685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwenToDawn/pseuds/OwenToDawn
Summary: Seunghoon has a crisis about Jiho and Minho's relationship.
Relationships: Lee Seunghoon/Song Minho | Mino, Song Minho | Mino/Woo Jiho | Zico
Series: The People Who Love Song Minho Club [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616827
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Ignorance Is The Best Medicine

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this was supposed to be a Seunghoon finally bottoms fic in the same universe as Without Hesitation. But then Seunghoon decided to have a crisis about sexuality and his future. So that will be another fic. I hope you enjoy this anyways! And that it makes the next fic more enjoyable. 
> 
> Comments are loved. 
> 
> Title from a loose translation of Mola by Winner

“You’re making it weird.”

“How am I making it weird?” Seunghoon asks, voice shrill.

Minho raises an eyebrow and Seunghoon sighs. It does nothing to relax him. “It’s not a big deal, Hoony. Some people like to get fucked.”

“But it’s _Zico_.”

Minho adds an eyeroll to the raised eyebrows and honestly, Seunghoon doesn’t get how Minho doesn’t see that this is a Big Deal. But maybe it’s because he’s Minho and he’s always been someone to blur the line between masculine and feminine and has never had any issue just submitting to the nearest authority figure for better or worse. But Jiho is like him. They both have a stubborn streak, and there’s very few people who would question their masculinity in a serious fashion.

Seunghoon couldn’t even imagine Jiho letting anyone fuck him.

“Wait, who was it?” he asks. “Did you fuck him?”

Minho leans across the bed to smack his arm. “Alright, out, you’re banned from the apartment. I’m telling Jinu. We’ll never let you in here again.”

“Hey!”

“Seriously dude, you’ve touched my dick like a million times and fucked me,” Minho says. “I can’t believe you’re pulling the ‘it’s not really gay’ card this late in the game.”

Seunghoon stills, sitting up on the bed and looking down at Minho. “That’s not…”

And okay, that was sort of true he supposes. He’s aware of the arrangement Minho and Jiho have, and he’s aware of every single person Minho has gotten with but, even when Minho started messing around with Yoon, Seunghoon never joined in. He just didn’t see the point. Because he liked Minho fine and they had sex with some degree of frequency which worked for him given that the last thing he wanted right now was a relationship.

“I don’t think we’re really worried about it,” Minho says. “We obviously don’t want to come out while we’re still working but I can’t see either of us giving a shit what the media says after that. I think…Jiho is the one who would suffer more than me.”

"What do you mean?”

Minho sits up, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I mean…I like rapping. And performing. It’s the best thing in the world, but also…after military service I don’t really see myself coming back to it. I don’t need it. I have my painting and my art and the connections I’ve established in that industry all over the world…half of them are gay too, you know? So what I like to do won’t really suffer. That’s not the same for Jiho.”

Which…that’s true. Seunghoon is friendly enough with Jiho to know the circles he runs in, and he knows at least some of those circles include people who have no issue airing their thoughts on gay people. And none of those thoughts are good.

“Jiho wants to produce once he’s not on stage anymore, that’s why he has KOZ Entertainment,” Minho says. “But how many of his industry contacts would he destroy in the process of coming out? We don’t care what the media thinks, which means it’s going to come down to how established and well-respected Jiho can make his brand so that it can survive whatever happens.”

“Couldn’t you just not live together?” Seunghoon asks. “After you retire I mean.”

Minho stares at him for a moment and because he’s never been able to hide his feelings that well, Seunghoon can see how hurt he is. He just doesn’t get _why_. It’s an honest question and definitely a solution to their fears about Jiho’s career after retiring from performance.

“I love Jiho,” Minho says. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with him and grow old together and bitch about how he snores when I visit my friends at the tea shop. I don’t get why you want us to stay hidden, but you can keep that opinion to yourself next time. I don’t need it.”

“That’s not…” Seunghoon trails off. Because Minho isn’t really wrong. He _is_ trying to convince him it’s better to keep his relationship secret. “It’s not because I think it’s shameful. I just want you to be happy.”

“I think we have different ideas of happiness,” Minho says, looking down at his lap. “And I think I’d like to me alone now.”

“I understand,” Seunghoon says. He leans over and presses a kiss to Minho’s forehead. “You’re still my best friend and I love you. I’ll think about what you said.”

“Love you too,” Minho says.

Seunghoon just wishes he didn’t sound so sad.

-.-

Seunghoon rocks back and forth on his feet in front of Jiho’s studio door, unable to bring himself to knock even though he knows Jiho is expecting him. They’ve been chatting the last few days. They aren’t close, but they respect each other and the roles they both have as important people in Minho’s life. And he’s the one person besides Minho that Seunghoon can talk about this. If he talks to Minho any more about it, all he’ll do is continue to hurt Minho’s feelings and that’s the last thing he wants to do.

Jiho is safer. Jiho’s like him, at least that’s the impression he gets. He’s ambitious but realistic about what’s possible and he’s not naïve to how quickly a scandal can spiral out of control. Minho always manages to remain optimistic in the face of hardship. It’s an admirable trait, but far from practical, and in some cases, far from reasonable too.

He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. A second later, his phone buzzes in his pocket.

_Jiho: it’s unlocked_

Seunghoon enters the studio and locks the door behind him. Jiho doesn’t look at him as he moves to sit down on the couch, fingers flying across his keyboard only to be interrupted by the occasional frantic clicking of his mouse. It’s so like Yoon, he can’t help but smile.

“Sorry, just need to get this file sent off,” Jiho says with a distracted voice.

“I’ve got nowhere to be.”

Which is true. His thoughts have been too pre-occupied with trying to figure out his own sexuality and insecurities to make him useful in song-writing. Jiho finishes up what appears to be a lengthy email and then turns in his chair.

“So I’m assuming this has to do with Minho being all bummed out and refusing to talk about it?” Jiho asks.

“Sort of?” Seunghoon grimaces. “He’s upset that I suggested you two don’t live together after you both like…retire.”

Jiho’s eyebrows raise and Seunghoon starts to wonder if its more effective to just shove his foot in his mouth before he even speaks.

“Yeah, that was dumb,” Jiho says “What the fuck dude?”

“I was just trying to say it might be easier than-“

“Hiding who you are is harder than anything else,” Jiho says.

“I thought you were more practical than this,” Seunghoon says and immediately regrets it when he sees anger flare up in Jiho’s eyes.

“There’s nothing practical about stifling who you are until the day you die,” Jiho says.

“But couldn’t it jeopardize your work? Your label?” Seunghoon asks, leaning forward on his knees.

Jiho laughs, a note of disbelief and bitterness in his voice. “Name of that is as important as Minho.”

“Even if after none of your music ever charts again?”

“Yeah, even then,” Jiho says. “Look…I’m doing my best with the cards I’ve been dealt. I’m a gay Catholic rapper dating a man in an industry that thrives on exposing secrets like ours. All I can do is try to build up KOZ Entertainment to a point that _when_ the public finds out about Minho and me, I have a shot of keeping what I built.”

“And what if you can’t? What if it fails?” Seunghoon asks, tone urgent. He feels frantic, though he’s not sure _why_. He just doesn’t see how either of them can be so comfortable with the idea that they could lose everything they worked for.

“Then I still have Minho,” Jiho says. “I don’t know what your deal is, but you’re way too invested in what Minho and I do with our relationship.”

“I just…” Seunghoon shakes his head and leans back in the sofa.

Jiho sighs and runs his hands down his face with a long groan. “You’re lucky you’re Minho’s best friend.” He gets to his feet and kicks the ottoman aside so he can sit down on the couch next to Seunghoon. “What’s your deal? What is this actually about?”

Seunghoon swallows and looks down at his lap, hands folding together. He’s not sure. Maybe it’s the realization that Jiho isn’t really the man he thought he was. He’s not practical the way Seunghoon thought. Sure he’s trying to improve their chances, but at the end of the day he’s still ready to lose it all because of…love. For a man.

“I told Minho that I…I’ve always seen myself ending up with a woman,” Seunghoon says after a moment. “Even if I fell in love with a man, I couldn’t…” He shakes his head. “I wouldn’t be able to make a life with him the way I wanted.”

“Are you bi?”

Seunghoon nods.

"Then what’s the issue?” Jiho asks. “If you want to end up with a woman, you can. You’re not like…pretending to be straight or something.”

The words aren’t comforting. It’s like figuring out that Jiho bottomed and is willing to sacrifice his career for love has completely torpedoed his own sense of self. Perhaps he’s been projecting onto Jiho too much. He always wished he had the independence and success he’d been able to achieve. And it’s not like it’s a secret that Seunghoon hopes to one day work for an entertainment agency as a professional instead of a performer.

“What if…I end up falling in love with a man?” Seunghoon asks, voice barely louder than a whisper.

“That’s for you to decide,” Jiho says. “You’re not me and you’re not Minho. What you want out of life is different than us and that’s fine, man. You don’t have to be afraid of something that might not even happen.” Jiho nudges Seunghoon’s arm with his elbow. “What triggered all this?”

Seunghoon winces and rubs the back of his neck as he sneaks a glance over at Jiho. “It’s going to sound so stupid.”

“I say stupid shit on a regular basis, who cares,” Jiho says, waving a dismissive hand.

"Minho told me you uh…bottomed. Recently,” Seunghoon says.

Jiho stares at him, mouth dropping open from mild shock. Then he laughs. Seunghoon grimaces as he feels his face heat from embarrassment, only barely resisting the urge to flee the studio. Jiho’s hand grabs onto his arm as he laughs and leans into him.

“You’re so weird,” Jiho says between breaths. “I’m sorry. I know this is serious for you I just…”

“Didn’t realize my identity hinged on what you put in your ass?”

Jiho dissolves into giggles and this time, it’s easier to join in because it is pretty fucking absurd. By the time they both stop, the anxiety that had made his chest tight for days has loosened and he’s able to lean into Jiho without being self-conscious about it. Jiho slings an arm around his shoulder.

“You’ll figure it out, don’t worry about it,” Jiho says.

“Can I ask…who? Who it was?” Seunghoon asks.

“I don’t think he’d be comfortable with people knowing. This isn’t like the whole group chat with everyone who’s ever slept with Minho,” Jiho says. “Though Minho was there.”

Seunghoon glances over at him. “Really?”

Jiho nods. “Honestly I was too scared to do it without him there. But I liked it a lot, I just had a lot of hang ups about it I think. Now that I know how good it feels, sometimes Minho and I argue about who gets to bottom.”

“I just…don’t see the appeal,” Seunghoon says.

“Just because I did it doesn’t mean you have to,” Jiho says with a short laugh. “We’re all different. If you really want to, find someone you trust. It’s not gonna doom you to falling in love with a man.”

Seunghoon winces. “I don’t…I don’t see you and Minho as doomed.”

"No, you do. But that’s for you to deal with, not me,” Jiho says, pulling away and getting to his feet. “Also you should apologize to Minho.”

“I will,” Seunghoon says. “Thanks.”

-.-

_Seunghoon: So say I wanted to try bottoming_

_Minho: Go onnn….._

_Seunghoon: Who would you recommend?_

_Minho: I thought you’d never ask!_

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr at the same username


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